Comments on Her Every Cent Counts - a quarter life crisis, and change: Passing Down Wealth From Generation to Generation

I have had Grandfathers and uncles that have marr...

2009-07-24T18:08:17.676-07:00

I have had Grandfathers and uncles that have married younger woman who have not been the mothers of their children. When they have died they left everything to them after maybe a 10 year marriage or so. So really it is none of your business how your Mother wants to spend her money.

If for some reason your father wants to disinherit your Mother from not leaving his half to her he may do so. The other half is your Mom's. The two of them are both your parents so I am assuming your Mother would want to leave you whatever she has. If she wants to spend every cent of her money that is her business. I have a question for you to think about. If you have a spouse right now and they suddenly passed on would you like half or some kind of allowance given to you now while saving this for your children.

Your dad needs to put this all in his will and est...

2009-04-14T10:21:40.367-07:00

Your dad needs to put this all in his will and estate. I agree with the other two comments- you're not going to be able to change her. The only thing you can do is to give her an allowance (monthly/weekly, etc) or ensure her bills are paid off of the interest and then give the rest of her money to her.

But for your dad to put this all on you is a mess.

It is very unfair - and unnecessary - for your fat...

2009-04-13T21:25:21.657-07:00

It is very unfair - and unnecessary - for your father to place you in this situation. If he has enough money for your mother to live off the interest, and if he intends for you and your sister to receive the principal once she eventually passes, then he can and should set up a trust - and list a bank or other impartial family member as trustee - to see to that intention.

Can you imagine the angst, the arguments, the anger that is going to result when (not if) your mother starts dipping into principal and spending down your father's legacy? Will you be able to visit her and appreciate her new $10,000 couch, the extravagant gifts she buys your future children, her wardrobe, her vacations without constantly thinking about how that's a few thousand less (plus interest) that you will ultimately receive?

I've known people in that situation, and it's not pretty. Pass your concerns along to your father and ask him to set up the necessary accounts - and put someone ELSE in charge of your mother's finances. It is NOT your place.

(And PS it's naive to think you can educate her or change her habits at this late stage in life. Add to that the pain she's going to feel when your father is gone, and you won't be able to talk a lick of financial sense into her).

Your Dad shouldn't put this on you verbally. This...

2009-04-13T17:57:28.657-07:00

Your Dad shouldn't put this on you verbally. This should all be done in writing via a Will and a Trust. He should also tell your Mother his intentions. This is a time for your Dad to get his affairs in order - both financially and emotionally. An outside trustee is often a good idea and he can structure the will to have your mother receive an allowance of $7000 growing by 4% per year.

Don't agonize over what's right, he should be doing this.