A Moment Like This

I've always dreamed of being the Suze Orman for Generation Y. Unfortunately my somewhat limited knowledge of finance makes me ill suited to be the queen bee of twentysomething spending and saving.

However, this blog and my "persona" in the personal finance community has been getting a decent amount of attention. The latest has been an e-mail from a producer at a local news station that is doing a story about money - and she wants me in the story.

I have a lot to say about personal finance, especially when it comes to educating people my age about saving and smart spending. But I'm nervous that I'll just come off sounding the fool.

It's also quite scary, given that I started this blog to have a place to write anonymously about personal finance and now I'm going to be somewhat "outed." Not that everyone and their mother will be watching this particular broadcast at the specific time the story airs, but someone will see it.

There is a blessing and a curse to writing so honestly. More people want to read when you're letting your thoughts out raw. It can also get you into more trouble.

I'm not ashamed of anything I've written in this blog. But they are things I wouldn't talk about in public, or with my actual identity attached to them. I kind of like having this anonymous space to rant about all things money and career related.

But... the big but.. is if I ever want to build a name for myself in personal finance, maybe gain enough cred to one day write a book about the subject (which is my goal at this point) then I'm going to have to "out" myself one day.

I'm just amazed at how this little blog has gotten so much attention in such little time. I guess that just attests to how interested people are in money and saving. But looking at the personal finance section in the local Borders could have told me that...

Fit Modeling -- My Goals!

I'm way too short to ever be a professional model, or am I? Fit modeling, a lesser known and definitely less glamorous side of the modeling industry, is a part-time gig that would definitely help me save up for grad school. Problem is, the way my body is at the moment, I'm not the right size to be a fit model.

Fit modeling... in case you're wondering... is being a "model" for designers who need to check out the measurements of their patterns. So you don't actually pose for pictures or anything (well, there might be a few snapshots, but they won't be used for any advertisements). Fit models are worth a lot to designers because they rely on them to make sure their clothing sizes fit their customers.

If I get "fit" I could feasibly sign up to be a size 8 petite fit model with an agency in San Francisco. The job pays about $80 per hour! The problem is right now my waist is 1.5 inches too big, as are my hips and bust. But I think if I keep working on getting healthy I might be able to make the "perfect" measurements for a petite, size 8, fit model.

Right now my measurements are 37 - 30 - 40. I need to be 36 - 28.5 - 38. Seems do-able, given my proportions, right?

Grad School: my future or just a dream?

Ever since my second year of college, I dreamed of going to grad school. Granted that I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life, I dreamed of going to grad school for ten thousand different things. However, now that I'm - almost 25, I know what I want to do in life (sort of) and I know what I want to get out of grad school.

I avoided majoring in art or design for undergrad for a few reasons, namely because I didn't appreciate that "business" must play into my life in order to make a living if I was to be so adamant about avoiding a career in academia. Once upon a time the term "business" seemed practically synonymous with "evil." Graphic Design was not art, it was business, therefore I wanted nothing to do with it.

Boy, times have changed. Now I want everything to do with design. Product design, user interface design, all of it. I love it. It fascinates me. I want to learn more about it. Even research methods are fascinating as long as they apply to design.

I'm getting a little taste in design methods at my current job, where I'm officially a writer. Every so often I suggest design features and listen to design sessions. I see how people work together in a company and how designers and marketers and everyone comes up with something. I love it.

So... grad school. Well, at the very least going to grad school for a masters in design or an MBA (or both, ideally) will possibly pay back for itself at some point (whereas an MFA in theater directing - what I once wanted to get) will not.

The huge questions are - when do I go and where do I go?

I don't need to rush into grad school - I can get a master's degree at 30 and that would be fine. However, I'm concerned that if I put it off too long I'll never do it.

I'm glad I didn't jump straight into grad school after undergrad. I definitely needed time to explore what it was I actually needed out of more education to further my career. But now I'm at a place where I feel like that extra education would help. A lot.

Meanwhile, my boyfriend is likely going to be entering an MA program in fall of 2009. We currently reside in the Bay Area but he's thinking of going to a program in New York. So I have to figure out what will come of that... I mean, do I move to New York with him? Do I stay in San Francisco? Do I apply to grad programs myself and move wherever I get in? Do we break up because our relationship couldn't survive long distance?

It's a lot to chew on and I don't really feel like chewing. But I'm scared of what it all means. I do know that I want to open up doors for my future and I don't want to be held back. Will an MBA or Design degree open up those doors? I'm not sure. I wish I knew how much that $100k+ degree would be worth.

How Am I Supposed to Feel?

i wrote this entry as a friends-only post in my personal blog, but i felt like sharing it here because it's relevant to my personal finances and also my tagline "a quarter life crisis and change."

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i just wish life would click into place. i'm starting to accept that i never will. when i was younger, i always believed that one day i'd just get it. i'd fit in, i'd be loved, i'd just know what was going on and i wouldn't have to worry anymore.

geez, i'm almost 25. almost 20 freaking 5.

i don't know what i want to do with my life despite the fact that i'm doing a lot with my life.

i used to feel like i needed to do something important. now i just want to get from day to day.

i used to believe passion was everything. now i'm numb more than ever. disconnected.

i feel love and it feels great. but is love enough? i mean, for life, that is. is that all there is to want? or should i chase money? fame? what is it i should want? family?

that's my problem. i don't know what to want anymore. sure i want to make money. i want to save money. i like buying things. but i'm not really driven to become rich. i maybe want a family one day but i'm not sure. my ovaries are not exactly my best friends and they're going to fight me if i ever want to have kids. could i even deal with having kids? i'm too selfish and irresponsible to have children. at least for now. will i ever change? i haven't changed yet.

i think what's bugging me so much is that i've lost my drive. i'm almost content. still scared, still worried that i'm going to end up unemployed and alone.

but...

i don't know. i find these little things to drive me for a while. theater. auditions. even though i know my singing voice is off key more often than not. sometimes i get a part. and there's the rush. there's the reason to go forward in life. but it's gone so soon.

my old friend wrote an entry today about how she feels disconnected from her family and siblings because she lives so far away. i kind of feel that too. not that i'd want to live back home. god, i'd be miserable.

i just feel so terribly lost. and maybe that's how i'm supposed to feel. like life is pointless and i'm lost and just wandering on blindly. and maybe my goal is to just deal with it. try to smile and laugh as much as possible and enjoy the simple things in life.

but then i'm just so... bored. and in some respects so empty. but that's because more than anything i want to want. to need. to have that hunger for... something.

i'm going to israel in a month and i'm not even excited about it. nor am i worried that i'm going to lose at the least $2000 in salary for the two+ weeks I'll be away. i just don't care... at all... about much of anything... anymore.

is this depression or just growing up?

Finally Did My Taxes

So you know how I wrote that I was going to do my taxes a few days ago?

Well, I kept putting it off. I knew I was going to owe something... I just didn't want to face how much I would owe.

The bad news is that it turns out I owe $1234. I probably could have gotten that number down a little bit by taking more deductions but at this point I just want to put last year behind me and start fresh with this year, being really careful about recording anything I can deduct legally as a self-employed person.

What really sucks is that since I live in a studio, I can't take a home office deduction. Well, I guess I could cut off a corner of my room from the rest of my apartment and not go into it unless I'm doing work, but that would be rather silly. Or at least I think it would be silly - a tax professional might think otherwise?

Regardless, I knew I was going to owe a lot this year because I had a decent amount of freelance income last year that hadn't been taxed at all.

This year I'll owe much, much more since I'm sans the W2 life, but at least now I'm trying to be careful figuring out what I owe out of everything I make. It's better to tally it up that way. With last year's taxes, I've been entirely in the dark.

So I used H&R Block's TaxCut online software. The basic version. I went through the whole nine yards w/ TurboTax and then decided to check out what I'd owe with TaxCut and since it was pretty much the same in the end I just filed w/ TaxCut. My login session for TurboTax had already signed out and, well, I forgot my login name.

I just wish there was a way to find out if a CPA could really get me more deductions... but it seems unlikely. I mean, how many deductions are there that are so hidden only those training in tax legalize can understand how to save money?

Blogging Yourself to Death

Once upon a time, I blogged for a living. I was lucky enough to land a coveted job at a respected blog and worked alongside some of the best bloggers in the business. Their passion and dedication to their career went beyond what I expected in my vague understanding of the blogging lifestyle from afar.

I've been blogging for more than 10 years, but until I took the full-time blogging gig, it has always been a side hobby of mine. It was more about writing about my personal experiences. Once it was my job, it was a combination of reporting and opinion, a pressure far exceeding that of a traditional journalist because it required both solid reporting and something to say about every piece of news.

Don't get me wrong, I'm an opinionated gal, but the pressure to always have something to say, and to still get the news first and get it out there wore me out fast. I definitely freaked myself out and got massive writer's block. I ultimately left that job. I lasted three months. My boss conceded that I had talent as a writer but a startup blog was not the place for me.

At the time, it hurt. I wanted so badly to be a great blogger. The blogging lifestyle was pretty awesome... I could work anywhere, say what I wanted (as long as it was supported by fact.) I was rewarded for creative thinking, and for page views. Well, mostly for page views.

The New York Times is aware of the pressure. "In Web World of 24/7 Stress, Writers Blog Till They Drop," asserts the Times. "the evolution of the 'pay-per-click' economy has put the emphasis on reader traffic and financial return, not journalism,' quotes the article. It just so happens I worked for a company the cared equally about reader traffic AND journalism. That was great for the quality of the blog, but awful for the quality of life for anyone who worked there.

My boss... well, he eventually got very ill. But he's still going strong. Unfortunately, other bloggers have literally died from the pressure. Others have had heart attacks and are now determined to make a lifestyle change.

But how much of a lifestyle change is possible? Once upon a time reporting required getting the news first... as in that day, by the time the papers went to press. Now, it's all about being first. Getting the scoop long before the thousand other people attempting to write the best blog get the story first. It's a dog-eat-dog world. It's not for everyone. The people who love it suffer as well. It's like training for the Olympics. You do it because you love it. But you sometimes wonder if all the stress is worth it. There are certainly other jobs that pay better and require less effort.

I'm personally happy that I left my life as a full-time blogger. Though I still dream of starting a love advice blog that would somehow take off and be my ticket to my next fifteen minutes of fame, I'm quite content with my current career working for a non-blog web startup.

For now, I'm blogging because I love it, when I feel like it. This blog certainly has gone in directions that I haven't expected. I try to keep my posts on topic -- either being about finances or career, but sometimes I wonder if my readers would be interested in a broader focus. In any case, I'm amazed that I'm now getting over 100 hits per day, I've made about $60 on AdSense, and I even have about 160 feedburner readers. It's fun that I can blog about things I'm really interested in and... find out that other people are actually interested  in hearing what I have to say. It's a very nice feeling. 

So thanks, my lovely readers. You sure all make my day. And I don't even need to risk having a heart attack to obtain that satisfaction.  

March Budget

I start making a good chunk of more money next month at my next payday, but for now I'm going to try to be careful to stay within my paychecks that I cashed today.

$3,700 Total to Spend/Save for March

$1050: Rent / Utilities
$71.33: Cable/ Internet
$57.00: Verizon Phone
$128: Health Insurance
$138: Car Insurance (paid in advance)
$200: Gas
$27: Gym

SAVINGS

$1000 ING Direct for Taxes Account
$300 Roth IRA
$250 Sharebuilder
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$3083


LEFT FOR SPENDING IN MARCH...

$617

$250 Gift for Boyfriend's Birthday
$300 Food
$67 Entertainment / Other


............

March is official "be fucking frugal" month. Next month my income goes up $1500, so there will be a lot more flexibility. Unfortunately my boyfriend's birthday falls BEFORE that. Well, I'll take him out to a nice dinner and get him a gift that won't be as extravagant as last year's Wii. Oh well. I could invest less in my Sharebuilder account this month if I want to spend more on the birthday, so that's always an option.

I also hypothetically have another $825 owed to me for one of my freelance jobs and another $300+ owed to me for that cell phone bill that my old company was supposed to pay. So if I actually get paid that money, then I'll be doing fine. But I don't know when those checks will come, if ever. If they do come, I'm going to put more towards my Roth, and spend a little more on the bf's birthday.

The good news is that I won't have much time for spending money in March. My show opens March 28, which means the major cost of the month will be GAS to get to and from rehearsal at the theater about 30 minutes away. That's why I put $200 in gas for the month. BUT I'm getting paid $500 to direct this production, after the fact, so my balance is going to look a lot healthier in April. It's March that will be tight, since I don't know when any of these other paychecks will be coming in.

Sadly, March is also the month when I wanted to seek out a tax consultant to discuss how to arrange my accounting as a freelancer. But I guess I'll have to take a stab at figuring out my estimated quarterly tax for Q1 08 by myself. Meanwhile, I also have to file my taxes, but I'll wait to April to do that, so I have some money to at least go through TurboTax or something.
Although my income last year was pretty low, prob about $34k or less, so maybe I can get away with filing for free. Hmm. That's for another entry, eh?

My Favorite Time of the Month

Both of my paychecks arrived in the mail, so I finally got around to driving over to the bank and handing them to a teller. While I'm too modern for most old-fashioned interactions, financial or otherwise, I have to say I enjoy going to a bank and depositing my checks.

I found with direct deposit, I stopped paying attention to when money was going in... and when money was coming out. For some reason, actually filling out a deposit slip and asking the teller to put it into my checking account feels, well, it feels like my monthly celebration (albeit in my head) for all my hard work. It makes me feel like an adult, perhaps.

In any case, these days I don't have a direct deposit option. At least now the reason for this makes sense. At my first salaried job the company didn't do direct deposit because the whole company had money problems and the big boss was afraid of paying everyone's paycheck at one time. Yea, I'm kind of glad I left that company.

Nowadays, though, as a freelancer, it's even more unlikely for a company to offer direct deposit. And that's fine. Even though checks are easier to lose or to forget to deposit, they're still getting something on paper for all your work. That paper isn't worth much until it's turned into a bank, so many would say my desire to be paid by check is absolutely ridiculous. Still, it's kind of nice, to go to a bank, when they're not busy, and wait for the transmission of money to take place.

Slowly down that process maybe helps me slow down on my spending too. Just a bit.

The 60 Hour Freelance Work Week

While working 60 hours at a salaried job each week seems beyond boring, diversifying one's time and one's ongoing work portfolio can lead to professional fulfillment on many levels, including by not limited to one's bank account.

I recently found out that in order to be a full-time salaried employee at my current company, I need to sign on for 50-60 hours a week. While I love my job AND the company, that's still not enough to have me sign every possible work hour away to one job.

Besides boredom, the reason to keep my 'after 40' job hours open is because some of my other opportunities pay much better than what I'm spending most of my week on. At my 40 hour per week job I make about $27 an hour right now. But I'm also taking my late evenings to work as a freelance marketing writer, with projects I'm getting paid $50 per hour for.

I'm not sure what my value is as a full-time employee versus freelance, but for some reason I feel like my $50 per hour charge as a freelancer is justified, while I could never imagine asking my freelance full-time employer for such a raise.

When it comes down to it, I'd rather make slightly less at my "day job" and use the opportunity to pitch my writing skills for extra income that ultimately covers health insurance and other things I need.

That brings about the question... how much can I actually make in one month without not sleeping and going completely insane...

Monthly Potential Income
1. $4800 -- Gig 1. 40 hours per week (on contract)
2. $400 -- Gig 2. Approx 8 hours, or 4 projects per month at $50/hr
3. $250 -- Gig 3. 10 hours of administrative Work at $25/hr
4. $400 -- Gig 4. 8 hours of research & article writing at $50/hr
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
$5850 per month

Which is a lot of money. Sort of.

Minus $2340 ((40% taxes (25 % tax bracket + 15 % self-employment tax))) that comes out to a grande total of...

$3510 per month after taxes, or a net income of $42,120 per year.

That's still pretty good, I think.

Freelancer Woes: Taxes, Taxes, and More Taxes

While I've gone through periods of working part-time gigs and freelancing for a little extra cash on the side, 2008-2009 will be the first year when I'm likely going to be a contractor all year long. I love the freelance lifestyle, as I can finish my work hours when everyone else is asleep, or get all my hours done straight through and leave myself time to relax for an extra weekend day, if possible. There are so many things I love about being a freelancer (albeit one with a stable freelance gig) that I'd be hard pressed to give it up.

One thing that might, just might be able to get me to give this wonderful lifestyle up is taxes.

Just trying to figure out how to sort out my taxes owed as a freelancer seems like a giant nightmare. On top of that I now have Prosper taxes (which sounds like it will be worse than a nightmare to file) and my various stocks, ETF and mutual fund accounts to tax...

Originally I thought sorting out my taxes would be simple as taking 25 percent of all my income each month and putting it into a highish-interest ING savings account. Come tax time, my tax money will have made a little money (although that will be taxed to) and if all worked out as I originally thought, the money in that account would certainly cover all my state and federal taxes... plus I would have saved some money by holding off on paying it throughout the year.

Given that I finally stopped to smell the dead roses, I did a little research and found out about the "Self Employment Tax" which seems to be another 15.3 % on top of the 25%. So does that mean I should be putting 35% of my income each month into my ING "for tax season" account?

And then... apparently freelancers are supposed to pay an estimated tax each month. What I don't understand is if this is for the convenience of the freelancer (don't have to worry about spending all your tax money and being in serious trouble come April 15) or if it's actually required by law to pay taxes on a monthly basis instead of in one lump sum at the end of the year. If it's not illegal, I really don't understand why more people wouldn't just do what I think I'm doing with this savings account and getting a few extra dollars on the money that will ultimately go to the IRS at the end of the year. But maybe I'm thinking about this all wrong.

I'm, quite frankly, terrified of tax season next year. This year is complicated enough with my two full-time jobs and freelance earnings. But next year? Well, I know I'll have to hire an accountant. But what is it I should do now, as it starting 1.5 months ago, to make my life bearable next year... and more importantly, so I don't accidentally end up in jail for tax fraud out of ignorance and confusion?

ps: I think I just found my answer... (I guess I do have to pay in advance!!!)
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p505/ch02.html#d0e5923

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(Thanks to the IRS for explaining, in fairly clear language, how I can give them my money)

When To Pay Estimated Tax

For estimated tax purposes, the year is divided into four payment periods. Each period has a specific payment due date. If you do not pay enough tax by the due date of each of the payment periods, you may be charged a penalty even if you are due a refund when you file your income tax return. The payment periods and due dates for estimated tax payments are shown below.

For the period:		Due date:
Jan. 1 1 - March 31		April 15
April 1 - May 31		June 15
June 1 - August 31		September 15
Sept. 1 - Dec. 31		January 15 next year 2

1If your tax year does not begin on January 1, see Fiscal year taxpayers, below.

2See January payment, below.

Saturday, Sunday, holiday rule. If the due date for an estimated tax payment falls on a Saturday, Sunday, or legal holiday, the payment will be on time if you make it on the next business day. For example, a payment due on Saturday, September 15, 2007, will be on time if you make it by Monday, September 17, 2007.

January payment. If you file your 2007 Form 1040 or Form 1040A by January 31, 2008, and pay the rest of the tax you owe, you do not need to make the payment due on January 15, 2008.

Example.

Janet Adams does not pay any estimated tax for 2007. She files her 2007 income tax return and pays the balance due shown on her return on January 24, 2008.

Janet's estimated tax for the fourth payment period is considered to have been paid on time. However, she may owe a penalty for not making the first three estimated tax payments. Any penalty for not making those payments will be figured up to January 24, 2008.

Fiscal year taxpayers. If your tax year does not start on January 1, your payment due dates are:

1. The 15th day of the 4th month of your fiscal year,

2. The 15th day of the 6th month of your fiscal year,

3. The 15th day of the 9th month of your fiscal year, and

4. The 15th day of the 1st month after the end of your fiscal year.

You do not have to make the last payment listed above if you file your income tax return by the last day of the first month after the end of your fiscal year and pay all the tax you owe with your return.

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Ok, now I just have to figure out exactly how much I have to pay them. Hmm.

Here are some helpful links I'll be reviewing to help me figure out just that, and I'll report back here when I actually understand what I'm talking about:

1. Write From Home: Taxes for Writers: Paying your Estimated Tax
2. Huge Taxes for Freelancers?
3. California Tax Service Center

Once I do understand all this, I can work as a freelance freelance accountant. :)

10 Reasons Why I Love My Freelance Job

I work for a web startup in Silicon Valley on contract, about 40 hours per week.

10 Reasons I love My Job:

1) The people I work with are passionate, fun, and great collaborators working together to create something new.

2) My job tasks are diversified and include many things I'm interested in, such as writing, community management, UI, and QA.

3) The room to grow at my company is only limited by my skills and interests.

4) I get paid a very decent monthly wage for the opportunity to do something I love.

5) Because I'm on contract, I get the flexibility I need to pursue my other passion: theater directing in the evenings and on weekends. I've applied for numerous web startups, but most wanted me full time at 60+ hours a week. If I had no life outside of my job, I'd be happy to take this on. However, I need to have balance in my life. I don't mind sacrificing company-sponsored benefit plans, sick days, holidays and stock options if it means I can keep doing what I love AND have a job I love.

6) While I don't have a lot of time to do "other freelance projects," I have a few hours a week that I can move around to take on some extra work. I like to continue freelancing on additional projects because it's always good to have side income in case your full-time (or in my case, 40 hour per week freelance) gig goes kaput.

7) Free lunch on Mondays!

8) I feel appreciated. My ideas are not always used, but at least they're considered. People seem to respect me. That's the most important thing in making me feel satisfied at a job.

9) Flexible schedule and work location. I work from the office 2-3 days per week and I work from home the rest of the time. I find I actually do more work when I'm at home because I can focus. I'm also not anxious like I was at former jobs where I just didn't feel smart/competent/knowledgeable enough to feel comfortable yet still challenged in the position(s).

10) My job is a great stepping stone to whatever comes next. I'm learning so much, and I learn more every day. As a writer, I'm still involved in research and finding out new things. As a community manager, I get to do my favorite thing ever - help people. Is it so absolutely bizarre that I actually love responding to customer feedback and writing FAQs? Being involved in QA, I'm learning a lot about testing a site for bugs. In general as a marketing assistant and such, I'm learning a bit about product management and general marketing for a web startup. I think all of this puts me in a great spot to move on to bigger and better things later in life, whether that be a position with more responsibility at my current company or something else. A while back I applied to a community manager position at another startup and it came down to me and someone else. I didn't get the gig, probably because my journalism experience wouldn't directly cross over to interacting with site users on a daily basis. But now... my resume can potentially land me another community management job, if I ever need to look for another one down the line.

What a Sweet Promotion!

As many of you know, I've been working a contract gig for the past few months that I really love. I feel like I've finally found a job that keeps me excited most minutes of the day and that can use my talents and ideas.

My contract is expiring in a few weeks, so my boss and I sat down to renegotiate the next part of my working with the company. It turns out that in addition to my liking the job, the people there, somehow, seem to like me too! Wow. Ok, so the only crappy part of the whole deal is that I've upped my hours to 40 a week, but I'm not considered "full time" because, as I've mentioned before, "full time" at my company is 50-60 hours a week. I'm not in the mood to work 60 hours a week (I'll burn out fast) so I said give me 40 and an offer I can't refuse. Well, I just said give me 40 on contract for another three months and make me an offer.

So I was making $3300 a month plus some small amount of stock options for 30 hours a week. That was fine, but in order to really make a living I needed to start working 40 hours a week. I figured I'd get offered $4400, without a raise at all. I'd ask for $200-$500 more, depending on what I was offered. So my boss decided to get rid of my stock options and instead give me more cash. That's ok with me... I love my company, but I know the odds of it succeeding to the point where my stock options would be worth more than the paper they one day will be written on is slim. So he offered $4600 a month for 40 hours a week. That was a good offer, indeed. Still, it doesn't include benefits, and I plan on my health insurance costing about $400 a month, with basic monthly payments and HSA savings (plus dental and vision). So I figured I'd ask for $200 more a month. The worst he could do was say no.

But he said yes. I probably could have gotten away with asking for even more than that, but I think I'll try to raise my pay slowly over the time I work with the company. In three months, I might end up signing on for a full-time salaried position. It's exciting to think what sort of offer would come out of that, given they'd be expecting me to work 60 hours a week! Well, I don't know if I'll ever want that, but it would surely be a nice way to save up some money for grad school and my potential house.

For the Love of Theatre

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, guys. I've been extremely busy casting a play that I'm directing at a local community theater. Rehearsals start next week, so every moment I'm not working on one of my freelance projects, I'm figuring out things like blocking, character intention, etc.

The good news is that I'm getting paid $500 to direct this play. Most fo that will go to gas money and gifts for the actors and such, but I might even end up with a small profit I can pocket in the end.

Theater has an interesting relationship with my life. Admittedly, it holds me back from my career at times. Most jobs require that you have a flexible schedule, with evenings free for occasional long hours or overnight trips. Even my current job, which if it were full time, would be 60 hours per week, would require me to give up theater.

Every time I have to make my passion versus job decision, I cannot. Given my inability to make such a compromise, things have turned out quite well - at least for the time being. As a freelance writer with a fairly-stable part-time writing gig, I have the flexibility to direct a show in the evenings and work... during the day and in the even later evenings.

I've often thought about returning to graduate school for theater directing. But those $100k three-year programs seems like a terrible idea, at least financially. I was hoping my mutual fund and stocks would somehow add some of those funds to my account, but given the dismal performance of the stock market I'm actually losing money right now. Lots of it. Well, about $1035 of it to date, and most of that's from my mutual fund.

My goal in the back of my mind is still to save up $100k by the time I turn 30 (which is in only 5.5 years, omg) and then apply to grad school for directing *OR* buy a house. If I can even save that much, that will be a tough decision to make. And as you've already learned from this entry, I'm no good at making decisions!

Phone Call with AT&T

The only good thing out of this situation is that I was able to call and speak with a rep from AT&T last night (so I wasn't spending more of my Verizon cell phone minutes to deal with the saga (see here and here.)

After barking at this women for over a half hour, it seems I got somewhere. Well, sort of. She explained to me that since my account was canceled on December 24, the charge that just showed up on my statement was for Nov - Dec. Also, since my billing cycle ends on the 21, I will have one more charge appear on my account for the three days between the 21 and 24, but the rep couldn't tell me yet how much that would be for.

As far as canceling auto pay, she said she'd gladly do that, but it usually takes one billing cycle before that's put into effect (so, in other words, it doesn't really matter if i do that because there's only one more billing cycle left).

What really frustrates me is that this all should have been taken care of in October, if the women at AT&T handled our phone request properly and transfered the account then.

At the end of the conversation, I realized that trying to get reimbursed from AT&T for the charge was going to be impossible. So instead, I asked if they could send me a bill for the last three months charges, so at the very least I could forward this on to my boss so I could be reimbursed.

That sounds so simple, right?

Well... I'm told that it costs $5 per bill to have them sent to me, but I could go online to see and print them for free. I bitch at her for another 10 minutes, explaining that I can't get into the online account because it's under my bosses' name with HIS information and password. She finally goes to talk to her manager and puts me on hold for another 5 minutes. Then she comes back and says she'll mail the bills out to me. Jackpot. Well, sortof.

That's about all I can do for now. I'll send the bills off to my boss the second I get them and hopefully will get the $300+ back that has been withdrawn from my account.

All I can think is thank goodness I was able to make this call at night when my minutes are free!

AT&T will never, ever, ever get my business again.

AT&T Will Not Stop Billing Me!!!

Perhaps some of you remember the saga of my previous employer and the cell phone bill that kept showing up on my bank account.

In short -- for my full-time reporting gig, I bought a cell phone through AT&T for work -- my boss told me to do this and he would reimburse me. That all went over fine.

A few months and a firing later, the nightmare began. On the last day of work, after a long conversation with AT&T on the phone, it sounded like the account would be transfered to my boss and all would be fine.

But then the auto pay bills started showing up on my bank statement. One in December, then one in January. I finally called AT&T and after 3+ hours on the phone with them (which ended up costing me something like $100 on my Verizon cell phone that I used to call them) you'd think everything would be solved. They talked to my boss again and he re-gave them permission to transfer the account to him.

Oh... but what shows up on my bank statement this month? ANOTHER $106.41 charge from AT&T. WTF?? My boss is supposedly reimbursing me for the last two months ($109 and $106) but I haven't gotten that check yet, and now I have to bother him and the accounts woman again asking for more money to be expensed and...

I am just so frustrated and I don't know what to do. Not only is this costing me lots of money (which will hopefully be reimbursed at some point), it's also costing my boss lots of money. As soon as the account is transfered to him, he was going to change the monthly plan to the lowest cost one, so he wouldn't have to pay $106 a month. Except they just can't seem to figure out how to transfer it to him.

Add in to the mix that this former boss of mine just had a heart attack. It's not exactly the best time to be bugging him with this... but I also can't keep getting charged $106 a month for a phone I no longer have!

What should I do?? Do I have any rights here? I don't want to spend another zillion hours on the phone with AT&T because it seems that gets me nowhere.

Making a Living as a Freelance Writer

As a gift to myself for reaching $30 in my AdSense account (after only 102 blog posts and more than 12k hits, heh) I purchased a copy of Writer's Market 2008 at the local bookstore.

Filled with over 3,500 listings for various publishing opportunities, this book is a goldmine for freelancers.

I'm just getting started on my freelance career. I'm not a typical freelancer because I work one 30-hour-per-week job that pays the rent and the bills. But I'm hoping to expand my writing experience (and monthly earnings) by being published in numerous publications.

Sending out queries to publications is tough, especially because you likely will be rejected, or even worse, never hear back. I got lucky in that early on in my career I had the opportunity to work as an editorial assistant for a magazine and obtain numerous glossy clips. But it turns out, the clips that impress the few publications I'm trying to write for aren't the ones I wrote for the mag. Instead, they like the style stories I wrote for a few local newspapers.

If you want to get started in writing and get paid for it, I highly recommend writing for a local newspaper. You might not get paid, but you'll get a few clips. Don't sign up for a full-time internship unless you're in school or right out of college. You can try to freelance for a fee, you might make $50 an article. That's a start.

You've probably already checked out freelancewritinggigs.com, a website that lists daily freelance gigs. There's occasionally something good there. But generally, you're going to want to send queries to the editors of different magazines. Come up with a few ideas (you might think they're stupid and they might love them!) and send off a cover letter with your pitch, and attach a few writing samples. Thanks to the wonders of the Internet, all this will cost you is your time... not even $.37 for a postage stamp.

Whatever you do, if you're just getting started, don't think of writing opportunities as being below you. Even though I make $50 an hour for some of my freelance gigs, on average I make about $25 an hour. Sometimes I'll do work for free because I know how valuable that work will be as a portfolio piece in the long run.

I'll write more tips on becoming a freelance writer as I go through my own trial and error process. Thus far, I've been assigned one 600-700 world Q&A for a magazine. The pay is $100. I'll probably spend 4-5 hours on it, including the interview, so that's a good $20-$25 an hour. Hopefully the interview will go over as planned, and I'll have a good article on my hands.

Dreams of a 401(k)

Oh 401(k), when I think about you, I touch myself.

Employers matching contributions? That's a truly beautiful concept, and one I've never been able to take advantage of.

At the moment, my freelance career prohibits me from obtaining full benefits at one company. That's how I chose to live my life, so I have to deal with the fact that my Roth IRA has lost significant amounts of money this year, while if I had been able to contribute to an employee-match 401(k) I might have at least broke even amidst this recession mess. However, I just have to go it alone. That's my choice.

But that wasn't always the case. My first full time job at a magazine showed me how even full-time gigs at companies don't always equate to earning the luxury of a 401(k). That company was a bit, how-do-you-say, confused in terms of organization. We had a meeting about getting 401(k)'s where the financial companies came in and presented our options, then they came in another day and we met with the reps and signed the paperwork. Of course, since the company was not making any money, our 401(k) was not going to include a match at all. So ultimately the only benefit was that it would encourage employees to start saving (but tax-wise, most of us would probably be better off with a Roth anyway).

Next up on my job history resume, I obtained another full-time gig at a startup where I was to get stock options instead of a 401(k). I never actually earned any of those stock options because I left the company after three months. I was fired. I was bored with the topics I was writing about. And I couldn't keep up with the pace. It was for the best.

I worry a bit about my retirement. I know it's many years off, but I won't have the security that my dad has. He retired early so my family is living on a tight budget now, but in a few years he'll have access to his pension and he and my mother can live off that. What will I have to live off of in 2058? Or whenever it is I end up retiring?

Thus far I put $4000 into my Roth IRA (started in 2007). It's down to $3600. I know... I know that investing is a long term thing. Still, I can't help but be concerned about what my future holds. Maybe the smartest thing to do would be to get a stable full-time job at a public company or government agency. But I'm trying to balance my happiness and my future. It's hard to find that balance. I'm worried I'm leaning too far towards happiness right now.

The Lawsuit and Rich Parents (aka, why I have $26k in my bank account at 24)

Many of you might wonder how on earth I have managed to save over $25k at 24... and to be honest, I'm a bit embarrassed to admit the truth. While I'd love to tell you all stories of how I worked my ass off through college, got an extremely well paying job the second I graduated and continued to watch my salary climb as the years passed, the reality is none of that is true.

Here's what really happened:

I was born into an upper middle class family. My mother stayed at home. My dad was an actuary who made a strong six-figure salary. While my mother and I kept spending his hard-earned money, he still managed to save quite a bit. Additionally, his company had a pension plan and all of those old fangled tricks to keep people working at one company for their entire lives. And it worked... my dad, after dropping out of his graduate program in Physics at Cornell, ended up spending his entire life working for this one company and climbing the corporate ladder. He never seemed happy, as he certainly did not like my mother, and having to commute one hour each way into the city everyday couldn't have helped.

But as he worked hard, I continued to reap the benefits. He saved up more than enough money to send me to a relatively expensive private institution for four years. Somehow he also managed to pay for my frequent shopping sprees to discount clothing stores. I was spoiled in an upper middle class sort of way. It's not like I went out and bought Prada or even Coach. Designers always meant little to me, but nonetheless I had a major talent for spending heaps of cash.

If all of that were the entirety of my story, I would have graduated without debt, and with about $9k in savings thanks to dad's "apartment for daughter after she graduates" fund. That would have been plenty more than I deserved.

But here's the secret to my minor fortune:

In 6th grade, I broke my arm at my birthday party. I'm not quite sure whose fault that was, although my parents, our lawyer, and the judge all seemed to agree that the company running the party was at fault for negligence. As an 11-year-old, all I really wanted was an apology from the folks running my birthday party... after all, I had to leave three minutes into the festivities while the rest of my friends stayed and got to enjoy games and cake. Well, my "apology" came in the form of $15,000. Although $5000 was taken out in lawyer fees, by the time I could access the funds at 18, my bank account had grown to about that original sum.

So if you were wondering how on earth I have so much money - that's how.

I do feel guilty about it, as I have many friends who had to take out loans to get through college and who will be paying for their education for years to come.

I've had the luxury to move across the country, to rent a $1050 a month apartment, and to mess up at a few jobs and figure out my career through trial and error. I'm lucky. I'm very, very lucky.

It's hard to compare myself to others my age. I don't know a great deal about people's personal finances, but I have friends across the spectrum of class (ranging from "upper lower" class to "upper middle" class.)

My boyfriend's situation is somewhat different, yet he also has money in savings and graduated with no loans. His mother has never moved out of her parents house. She's worked consistently throughout her life, and has saved most of her income. While I was a spoiled little brat as a kid, my boyfriend never experienced the finer things in life... even though his family had the money to show him such things if they wanted to spend it. But instead, his mother believed in buying clothing from the thrift store. Last Christmas I was shocked that she got me a gift (it is the thought that counts) but I just found it interesting to see that the "gift" was a red wool coat that she had bought from a thrift store a while back, knowing that at some point she'd give it away as a gift.

I don't judge her for this at all, I'm just fascinated by the different financial mindsets of people in America. I wonder how much of it is based on culture and religion, and how much is unique to each family and person. Even I believe that the best part of making more money is being able to share that money... at least with the person you love and your close friends.

There's plenty more I can write about all of this, but I need to get some more work done this evening before heading off to bed. Please leave comments about this topic, as I'm interested in hearing about your families and how that influenced the way you spend and save today.

Edited to add: My parents no longer send me money. I'm on my own. If I was in debt or something awful happens, I know they'd be there to help as much as possible. But now I'm earning money and paying all of my bills, including rent.

Question of the Day -- From BankerGirl's Blog

"If your boss told you that you’d just won two years paid vacation, what would you do with the time?" -- From the blog of BankerGirl.

Oh gosh! Two years paid vacation would certainly be a luxury. A lot would depend on what I'd be getting paid during those two years. Assuming it would be a full-time salary of $50k, I'd probably work another job (hopefully making the same amount) during that time and invest the first $50k more aggressively, probably focusing on trying to buy a house or a condo.

What would you do?